Crushed by Elisa Dane

Author:Elisa Dane [Dane, Elisa]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-01-07T06:00:00+00:00

12

Status update: Worried ...

Surprisingly enough, I’d had zero problems getting myself up, ready, and out the door for school on Monday morning. Head still swimming with memories of my weekend spent with Bodie, I’d been up early, taking extra time to primp and fluff, and had dragged poor Livvie to school fifteen minutes early with the hope of seeing him before the first bell rang. To her credit, she didn’t complain, and for that I’d be forever grateful.

My thoughts traveled back to my Saturday afternoon with Bodie on the hill. We never did finish that assignment. Not that I gave a rat's patootie. My goal had been to get to know him better, a goal I felt I’d accomplished and then some. Of course, there was always more to discover about one another. I’d yet to learn the basic details that usually come up in conversation when you first meet someone, like what his favorite band was, or what types of food he liked best. But, to be honest, those things, when held in comparison to the heavy connection we’d formed after sharing our pasts, seemed trivial.

We’d shared the demons that haunted us nightly, with the unspoken promise to withhold judgment. Opening up, admitting shame and regret to another person was a big deal. I couldn't speak for Bodie, but I knew for me, my time spent with him up on the hill had been a turning point. My only wish was that he would have let me finish telling him my story. He didn't know the whole truth. His vision of me was warped, skewed, and I didn't want to think about what his reaction would be when he found out my dirty little secret. Make that my dirty enormous secret. I felt like our friendship, relationship, or whatever it was between us, was running on borrowed time. My feelings for him grew deeper each time we were together, and I knew it would be that much harder for me when he found out the truth and eventually walked away.

I glanced at the clock on my phone as I lingered in front of the boys’ locker room, and bit my lip. Class started in five minutes and Bodie had yet to emerge. I knew he worked out with the football team before school several times a week, and I’d been hoping to catch him before school started. I felt a bit stalkerish but tried to convince myself that friends did things like wait for each other before and after class. Was that all we really were? Friends? He hadn't kissed me again since that night at the dance, and he'd had ample opportunity. We'd been up on that hill, alone, for hours. Insecurity wrapped its freaking fingers around me and gave a good squeeze. No. The connection, the buzz I felt whenever I was around him, was so strong. He had to sense it, had to feel it.

Uncertainty hammered me from all sides, and I looked up to the ceiling and let out a deep sigh.

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